Wednesday 25 September 2013
Rant-uh
Sometimes working with people who don't speak your own language fluently sucks.
Today is one of those days.
One of my students, Alliot, has a problem.. with uh.. going to the washroom. His problem is that he will not go #1 & #2 at the same time. He will ask to go to the washroom 3 or 4 times in a class, I was under the impression that he just had a small bladder, as was my co-teacher until she was filled in otherwise by the child's mother (who does not seem to think potty training her 5 year old is priority right now). This information, one might think, would come in handy if you are going to be sharing a class... right?
Right. I thought so. The other foreign teachers in my hagwon thought so. Evidently, my coteacher and helper teacher did not.
The child knows how to ask to go to the washroom. He does 3-4 times every day. That's fine, nature calls. I am very nice about it. He can go when he asks.
Today we were playing a game that required kids to stand up from time to time, to pass a ball. He doesn't always follow directions well.. he got too excited about the game, and peed himself. Even though he had JUST gone to the washroom. He asked for a tissue (I had not seen the mess yet) so I said he could use one.
When I noticed WHAT the tissue was for, I called into the hallway and asked for a helper teacher. My job is to teach, not change clothes. That is why we have helper teachers, that is what they are paid for.
It. Is. Their. Fucking. Job.
My helper teacher does not answer, so I call another helper teacher. (My helper teacher HATES this.. it's a shame she can't see that I wouldn't call if I didn't actually NEED her, and maybe if she did her job she wouldn't always get in shit for ignoring me when I call her. DERPDERPDERP! Korean logic.)
I am told, a few hours later ofcourse, that the child has a problem. That the mother informed my coteacher, Joanne, of this issue at the beginning of the first term. I was not in Korea at this time, they didn't think it was crucial to tell me. So they allowed me to carry on letting this kid go to the bathroom 4 times in 80 minutes.. because they assumed I'm telepathic? I don't know.
Anyways, my coteacher attempts to have a serious conversation with me about it. She informs me that she, my helper teacher, the school's secretary, the principal, and a bus mom have been watching my class over & over again on CCTV for the past hour (because they're not being paid to do real jobs... like.. teach their actual classes, or fucking help the foreign teachers... right?). They have decided that because, with no sound, it looks like I am just standing at the front of the class starring at the kids and occasionally clapping my hands or catching/tossing the ball. That's called singing, and instructing.. for you non-teachers out there... you don't stand in a hallway and teach a class from a closed door.
Anyways, essentially, she goes on to say that it was a long time from when he seems to have stood up from when he goes to get tissue.. to when I run to grab his change of clothes and ask for a helper teacher to come into the classroom. So this must mean that I do not care about my kids, and I do not take proper care of them.
I love my students, all of them, with all of my heart. When they are sick, I get worried. I bring them treats and stickers, I take their photos for their mothers. I play with them over my breaks, I even come in early somedays and play with them. I go out of my way to show them love and affection.
It is not my job to potty train a child. That is not why I am 8,000 km away from my friends and family. I have several students in that class, all of which are 5 years old. They are in their first year of kindergarten, they ALL deserve attention. I cannot expect to pay attention to only one child 100% of the time, that is not fair. I can only do so much.. and now that I KNOW this is an issue, I am being proactive about trying to make him comfortable.. maybe move him up a row so I can watch him more closely? I don't know.
CCTV sucks. Korean culture is super based on assumptions... if you guys think you can do a better job then be my guest... oh wait.. that bus mom is not a teacher, nor does she speak English. The same goes for the helper teachers or the secretary. There is a reason I have this job, I went to school to do it. Being told I am incompetent based off of assumptions made in a gossipy circle formed around a very tiny, muted, pixelated computer monitor does nothing but alienate me.
I spoke to the director after school and explained the word gossip. I explained that, atleast in western culture, that kind of behaviour in the workplace is seen as highly unprofessional and malicious. I said that, as we are expected to try to adapt to Korean culture, perhaps it would be a good thing to bring up at the next Korean teacher staff meeting that it's a two way street. We are called coteachers for a reason, we need to work together.. not shift blame when it's convenient.
Case and point: Joanne teacher never told me this was an issue. Joanne teacher moved the child who is disruptive to the very back of the class when I cannot monitor him as closely. Now that the information has been shared, improvements can be made on both ends. This is how communication works. They. Are. Five. Accidents happen, accept it.. and figure out a way to work with it.. or don't work with 5 year olds?
I don't even know. Korea Koreaed so damn hard on me today I just want to sleep until Friday.
Today is one of those days.
One of my students, Alliot, has a problem.. with uh.. going to the washroom. His problem is that he will not go #1 & #2 at the same time. He will ask to go to the washroom 3 or 4 times in a class, I was under the impression that he just had a small bladder, as was my co-teacher until she was filled in otherwise by the child's mother (who does not seem to think potty training her 5 year old is priority right now). This information, one might think, would come in handy if you are going to be sharing a class... right?
Right. I thought so. The other foreign teachers in my hagwon thought so. Evidently, my coteacher and helper teacher did not.
The child knows how to ask to go to the washroom. He does 3-4 times every day. That's fine, nature calls. I am very nice about it. He can go when he asks.
Today we were playing a game that required kids to stand up from time to time, to pass a ball. He doesn't always follow directions well.. he got too excited about the game, and peed himself. Even though he had JUST gone to the washroom. He asked for a tissue (I had not seen the mess yet) so I said he could use one.
When I noticed WHAT the tissue was for, I called into the hallway and asked for a helper teacher. My job is to teach, not change clothes. That is why we have helper teachers, that is what they are paid for.
It. Is. Their. Fucking. Job.
My helper teacher does not answer, so I call another helper teacher. (My helper teacher HATES this.. it's a shame she can't see that I wouldn't call if I didn't actually NEED her, and maybe if she did her job she wouldn't always get in shit for ignoring me when I call her. DERPDERPDERP! Korean logic.)
I am told, a few hours later ofcourse, that the child has a problem. That the mother informed my coteacher, Joanne, of this issue at the beginning of the first term. I was not in Korea at this time, they didn't think it was crucial to tell me. So they allowed me to carry on letting this kid go to the bathroom 4 times in 80 minutes.. because they assumed I'm telepathic? I don't know.
Anyways, my coteacher attempts to have a serious conversation with me about it. She informs me that she, my helper teacher, the school's secretary, the principal, and a bus mom have been watching my class over & over again on CCTV for the past hour (because they're not being paid to do real jobs... like.. teach their actual classes, or fucking help the foreign teachers... right?). They have decided that because, with no sound, it looks like I am just standing at the front of the class starring at the kids and occasionally clapping my hands or catching/tossing the ball. That's called singing, and instructing.. for you non-teachers out there... you don't stand in a hallway and teach a class from a closed door.
Anyways, essentially, she goes on to say that it was a long time from when he seems to have stood up from when he goes to get tissue.. to when I run to grab his change of clothes and ask for a helper teacher to come into the classroom. So this must mean that I do not care about my kids, and I do not take proper care of them.
I love my students, all of them, with all of my heart. When they are sick, I get worried. I bring them treats and stickers, I take their photos for their mothers. I play with them over my breaks, I even come in early somedays and play with them. I go out of my way to show them love and affection.
It is not my job to potty train a child. That is not why I am 8,000 km away from my friends and family. I have several students in that class, all of which are 5 years old. They are in their first year of kindergarten, they ALL deserve attention. I cannot expect to pay attention to only one child 100% of the time, that is not fair. I can only do so much.. and now that I KNOW this is an issue, I am being proactive about trying to make him comfortable.. maybe move him up a row so I can watch him more closely? I don't know.
CCTV sucks. Korean culture is super based on assumptions... if you guys think you can do a better job then be my guest... oh wait.. that bus mom is not a teacher, nor does she speak English. The same goes for the helper teachers or the secretary. There is a reason I have this job, I went to school to do it. Being told I am incompetent based off of assumptions made in a gossipy circle formed around a very tiny, muted, pixelated computer monitor does nothing but alienate me.
I spoke to the director after school and explained the word gossip. I explained that, atleast in western culture, that kind of behaviour in the workplace is seen as highly unprofessional and malicious. I said that, as we are expected to try to adapt to Korean culture, perhaps it would be a good thing to bring up at the next Korean teacher staff meeting that it's a two way street. We are called coteachers for a reason, we need to work together.. not shift blame when it's convenient.
Case and point: Joanne teacher never told me this was an issue. Joanne teacher moved the child who is disruptive to the very back of the class when I cannot monitor him as closely. Now that the information has been shared, improvements can be made on both ends. This is how communication works. They. Are. Five. Accidents happen, accept it.. and figure out a way to work with it.. or don't work with 5 year olds?
I don't even know. Korea Koreaed so damn hard on me today I just want to sleep until Friday.
Monday 2 September 2013
Dreams
I've always found dreams to be an interesting cause for refection. My dreams have been quite haunting as of late.. far too many conversations with those who have passed, or are gone from my life. I wonder if they're a release or if a sign of guilt Ive been harbouring. Regret is such a bitch.. Being able to sleep through the night would be such a godsend. It is so hard to focus on the present, and hope for a happier future when your thoughts are so consistently occupied by the past.
To say that I've had an uphill battle to be where I am today is an understatement, to say the least. I want to say that I have learned and grown from my experiences, but maybe I have missed a few things along the way. Maybe my soul needs to breathe a bit, too.
I would love to dream about the future, and what it holds for me. I haven't been able to do this for over a year and a half. So many people have hopes, dreams, and ambitions.. while I struggle to hold a firm grasp on the immediate time. I feel like I have set myself to see, and I am aimlessly floating off in the distance while my loved ones are reaching these huge milestones. I can give my congratulations, but am I really there? I feel like I am neither here, nor there. I wish somebody would rope me in & give me something solid to hold onto. I thought perhaps a year of freedom would give my heart some solace.
They say home is where the heart is, but I am not entirely sure where mine is hidden at the moment. I feel like I need to let that breathe, too. Perhaps I am too guarded? I have tried, these past 4 months, to be as honest with others and open as I could possibly be. I don't feel like I have done a bad job of that but I do feel like something is missing.. why am I so sad?
I guess the honey moon period with Busan is over. I miss my family, my dogs, and my friends. I miss my life.
To say that I've had an uphill battle to be where I am today is an understatement, to say the least. I want to say that I have learned and grown from my experiences, but maybe I have missed a few things along the way. Maybe my soul needs to breathe a bit, too.
I would love to dream about the future, and what it holds for me. I haven't been able to do this for over a year and a half. So many people have hopes, dreams, and ambitions.. while I struggle to hold a firm grasp on the immediate time. I feel like I have set myself to see, and I am aimlessly floating off in the distance while my loved ones are reaching these huge milestones. I can give my congratulations, but am I really there? I feel like I am neither here, nor there. I wish somebody would rope me in & give me something solid to hold onto. I thought perhaps a year of freedom would give my heart some solace.
They say home is where the heart is, but I am not entirely sure where mine is hidden at the moment. I feel like I need to let that breathe, too. Perhaps I am too guarded? I have tried, these past 4 months, to be as honest with others and open as I could possibly be. I don't feel like I have done a bad job of that but I do feel like something is missing.. why am I so sad?
I guess the honey moon period with Busan is over. I miss my family, my dogs, and my friends. I miss my life.
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